But often pent-up emotions over that rise you did not get can flow along with the alcohol. Remember that the office party is not the best time to challenge the boss, unless you want to join the post-Christmas job queue. And bosses, don’t even think of cracking on to short-skirt Sally. You are bound to end up starring on Instagram even before you arrive home to a wife packing her bags. Just follow Di Bartok’s easy guide to party etiquette and you should be right.
THE worst part about the office Christmas party is having to look for a new job the next day.
I would like to say that line was mine, but I stole it from my favourite US comedian of the 1970s, Phyllis Diller.
Like all good comics, old Phyllis knew how to give a twist to the truth, and to get us thinking as we rocked with laughter.
But how would dear Phyllis cope with the Brave New World of social media capturing our best and worst moments - not always with our permission?
And that is what is worrying bosses these days - the increasing likelihood that employees will not only embarrass themselves, but their company’s reputation when wild partying scenes are posted on Facebook and Instagram.
Tales of lecherous bosses and drunken employees telling company chiefs what they “rooly, rooly” think of them are legendary at the alcohol-fueled end-of-year party, which is why more companies are opting for quiet daytime celebrations in restaurants rather than large night-time bashes that often live up to their name.
For example, Parramatta Council has always preferred to have an afternoon soiree for staff, combining good cheer with an awards ceremony that acknowledges staff achievement throughout the year.
You are less likely to become drunk and abusive if you think there is a chance you might be presented with an award from the Lord Mayor; hopefully.
Plenty has been written about etiquette at office Christmas parties but here are my thoughts, honed from years of working in highly moral newspaper offices. A’hm.
1. Dress appropriately, which means as un-Kardashian as you can get without looking like the nerd you are the rest of the year.
2. Arrive on time or the big boss whom you hardly see but signs your cheques might twig that lateness is your thing.
3. Don’t drink too much in case you lose control - unless you have another job lined up.
4. Neither abuse nor fawn over your boss. Best to stay as far away as possible. Just nod and smile from afar.
5. Don’t overeat as your boss might think you are dropping hints that food is a luxury you can’t afford.
6. Try to mingle. Bosses like social, confident people - although try to avoid looking too confident in case boss feels threatened.
7. Don’t flirt. That is best left to normal working hours inside the utility room or broom cupboard.
8. If the boss comes on to you, just let him/her have a quick feel with the promise of a later meeting in the office broom cupboard. Then resign the next day.
9. Avoid taking selfies and uploading to social media before you have checked them when sober, even if that is not until the next week.
10. Leave as early as is polite before you have any chance of forgetting all of the above.
DISCLAIMER: In relation to points 7 and 8, Di Bartok and WSBA are not condoning sexual harassment. All broom cupboard encounters should be fully consensual.
