ARE you a victim of an age old condition that spreads the globe infecting masses without them even knowing. The disease only attacks women but its impact reaches into entire societies. And it's on the increase.
The "LAST CHOP" syndrome commonly known as LCS is a condition that has affected women in all walks of life for generations, but never more virulently than today.
The symptoms are low self-esteem, poor communication skills, withdrawal, anxiety, aggression and confusion to name a few.
It is proven that this condition can be directly attributed to the way in which women value or measure their worth in their surroundings and personally evaluate how they measure up against their environment and their peers.
You may not know that you are suffering from it. Classic examples of LCS include:
CASE #1 – DOMESTIC ENVIRONMENT
After a long day at the office mum cooks a lovely dinner of roasted lamb chops and healthy vegetables. The family arrives home eager to enjoy the fruits of her labours. The teenage son walks in with his mate and says: "Tom is staying for dinner OK?" What does Mum do? Five chops, six mouths to feed? Every time an LCS affected Mum will say "I don't like chops much and I am on a diet anyway" Mum goes without. It is the inherent nature of the female to sacrifice for those around her. She sees herself as less important, less worthy, less valuable, less noticeable. This simple analogy applies equally to women in the workplace or women in the community in general, - women in all platforms.
CASE STUDY #2 – WORKPLACE ENVIRONMENT
There is a new management position coming available in the workplace. The woman wants it, she believes she has worked for it and deserves it.So she waits, believing that she has done enough to automatically be appointed to it. She does not campaign her case. While her male counterpart, networks with the senior managers making the decision, working overtime to demonstrate and display his skills and "fit" for the role. He campaigns. He gets the job. She complains. She did not feel strongly enough about her skill set to take up her case and campaign for the role she wanted. She did not play the game. She sat back, unquestioningly performing her duties – therefore she is identified as a "DOER" not a manager.
We, as women have created, and continue to feed, this condition and never more so that in current times. It is now at epidemic proportions and as such we have effectively skewed the balances in our attempt for equality.
We expect to be able to have it all. Be a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a professional etc. And we expect, and in some cases demand, the external support to be able to fulfil all these roles with 100% dedication and perfection. Quite simply that is not possible. So where does that leave us – constantly "falling short" of our self-imposed expectations.
Choices have to be made if we are to change this situation. We as women need to become more responsible for our decisions and stop asking the society to support them for us.
We are constantly being presented with derogatory, negative focussed information on women’s stand in the economic environment - gender bias in the workplace, pay equality issues etc. Why is this?
It is because women have allowed it to happen –another classic case of LCS at work.
We cannot complain about the promotion we did not get if we did not actively research, network, seek a mentor, collaborate prepare and campaign for the role.
We can't complain about pay equality when we have already accepted the role with a stated rate of pay in place. That was part of the offer accepted.
Instead we should be preparing a case, knowing the rate of pay we want to receive and campaigning to receive it, proving that we are worth it and accepting nothing less.
In short we need to raise our sense of worth and be prepared to fight for it. And most importantly be responsible for the results. We are not victims of workplace inequality – we are co-conspirators.
Complaint in hindsight is mindless and counterproductive. And simply feeds the ongoing paranoia of self-worth.
When I was appointed as general manager of a major Multi-National USA company based here in Sydney I was only 37 years old, the first female and youngest person in the industry to be appointed to such a position. I had campaigned for it, proven my suitability, taken risks and networked with the "boys" to get it.
I was proud of my achievement and called my mum to share the news. Her comment: "Don't rise above your station dear."
She couldn't share my enthusiasm. She was actually scared for me. In her mind this was a man's domain. Times have changes in the last 20 years since then. I'm glad to say that women "rise above their station all the time."
Even though we have achieved so much as women in society, we have a long way to go. But it has nothing to do with Government stipulations or employer regulations.
It has everything to do with individual responsibility, sensible expectations, ownership and accountability for the decisions we make. That's what builds a healthy society.
If you look at the roles of women in the past, measure the results against today, I believe we have actually gone backwards.
Since the industrial era began women have only been key contributors to the workforce since the second world war – basically only 80 years.
Prior to that the roles of both men and women were very clearly defined, valued and respected. There was a sense of order.
Our society knew how the pieces fitted together. How it worked. Our drive for what we believe is equality has changed all that. Now there is confusion as to how to evaluate self-worth and what constitutes success.
The impact this has had on our society is blindingly obvious. Confusion as to where we "fit", what is our role in life, what is expected of us as a whole?
The very fragments of our society have come untangled as we have grown and changed the rules along the way.
We still have that endemic disease of self-pity otherwise known as Last Chop Syndrome hanging around, attacking the unsuspecting, infecting our society, damaging our societal structure so that it is now at a point where confusion, aggression and anxiety reign supreme.
How do you measure your own self-worth? As women we need to be more willing to recognise our skills and capabilities, be more accountable for our decisions and learn to stand up and be seen for who we are NOT who others expect us to be.
Do not expect others to support our decisions. Reclaim that sense of order, respect and "place" that is so necessary for a healthy society.
I know my point of view is often contrary to popular opinion. However, I firmly believe that if we, as women, want to be taken seriously, if we want to be considered equal, we first must feel confident and comfortable in ourselves, we must recognise and celebrate our gender differences, stop looking for others to blame for our short-comings or disappointments and get on with it, forge ahead and make our own way in this world.
